Could this be the end?

After the long periods of silence within this blog, I've been starting to decided whether or not this is the right place for me to be expressing my thoughts, feeling and emotions any more. You see, here its just a sort of 'tell-my-friends-and-hopefully-they'll-respond' blog. But on Neoseeker, people actually give a damn and actually comment. Hmmm, I'm thinking Neoblogs might be the way to go.

This was a Triumph:

I'm making a note here, huge success!

Melodyne + AT & T Labs = Glados

Test No.001

Pizza Hut - First Time Real Customers

So today was the first day that I've started making actual calls. You see, you have to take the order on a headset by phone and put in the orders on a computer. It starts off simple with just listening in to the caller's order with a 'Buddy Trainer' (A person there to guide you through the process) and typing in the orders on the computer only. Then swapping around tasks, talking to the customer while the trainer enters the orders into the computer. After a bit of practice with both, you then talk to the customer simultaneously while typing the order on the computer. Sure, it seems easy, but you have to remember commands such as the F keys (which by the way, the computers at the call centre have 24 F Keys!) and product codes (Hawain = HA, BBQ Meatlovers = BM...). It was certaintly nerve racking, but I'm really happy with what I achieved today. All this, despite the fact I arrived 2 hours late. X_X

Call Centre Training

Today I had my first day of training at a Pizza Hut Call Centre, and things went much better than expected. Of course I was a tad bit nervous on my first day, but the process we well guided through. Although I'm much to tired to spill my guts about it now, I will at a later date.

Currently, I'm going over my options of demotion from the Monster Hunter Freedom 2 forum. My appeal of the game has severely dropped and my visits to the place are becoming tiring and annoying. Members have grown unappreciative of my role, and there is a constant blatant disregard for the forum rules. I've got a Co-Mod who spends a lot of time away, very little time actually talking to me or providing colleague communication and seemingly another member's bitch, to the point were that member can bend the rules to their own will without any repercussions. Although I don't hate moderating at this point, just having to moderate that particular forum is, tiring to say the least. I'll have to sleep on it.

09 - Things will be different

So, a minute before the 2nd of January, 2009. I have to say, last year has been interesting. Through this years personal New Years Resolution, I do plan on making things a lot different than last year. Although I definitely hate to divulge too much into personal detail, I'd like to remind myself that inspirations come from a mix of TV Shows, most prominently Dexter and Scrubs, which have given me ideas as to how I can 'live' my life properly.

Also, Adam still annoys the hell out of me, being the childish kid he is, he still throws things at me and even spits in my face. Sure, I bet he'd retaliate by saying that I'm no different, but the point is that he hasn't truly looked at the bigger picture. Honestly, no matter what he tries to hide behind, I can find comfort in the knowledge that it is I that truly understands.

Merry Christmas

Just want to give out all those out there warm wishes for the best this Christmas, Boxing Day and New Year. I for one have enjoyed today, some family members visiting and having a nice lunch with BBQ Ribs and Roast. However, I've suddenly slumped down at the end of the day to a considerable low point in my life.

Despite my attempts at trying to perk myself up with as much Scrubs as I can (I got the entire 1, 4 and 5th Seasons to watch), I've been hit with the thought of death again. Yep, the question aeons old, what happens when we die? This question has been eating away at my soul for the past few months. I can only be too sure that it is causing me a stomach ulcer. It's been the constant reminder by everything in my life, that has left me depressed and 'brain-dead', so to speak. Obviously watching Scrubs helps me to no end, even while taking a drive wit my father to rent some DVDs, I cannot help but to stop and think how many people died on Christmas Day. The whole thing behind this issue is the thing that hurts me in every way to say, every time I thing of it. Even now I have to take a deep breath to type it. Inevitability. The whole concept of the unknown being inevitable is what has been freaking me out. Sure, a lot of people in the world go through it and I should accept it as a part of life, but I cannot. I love life. I try my best to embrace life, but that only makes things worse. It's like a loop of problems. I don't want to die so I live my life. I live my life and that makes me more afraid to die. Countless times have I pondered about my options on therapy, but I've never really had much courage to consult my parents about it. I need advice, support, closure.

This turn of events may have well been influenced by my sudden realisation of true lonliness. As you see, I have never once had a girlfriend in my life. Just a few days ago, that hit me in a dream. In this dream, I did have a girlfriend (who I oddly proposed to. Weird huh?) and in that dream, I felt ecstatic. I felt wonderful, as if I'd never be happier. Not to be confused with say, being happy over something materialistic like a game, but this was true happiness. Then, when I woke up, that happiness slipped away. Talking to people about it is definetely not one of my strong points, which is why I'm venting it on my blog. Oh, and to those who probably think that I'm going to maybe raid some school and murder everyone, that is the least of my concerns.

Lastly, if it lightens up the mood, I got that Call Center Job. Yeah, timing sucks.

Getting a Job, maybe...

The internet has been acting up recently, hence my inactivity from this place as well as the forum over the past few days. However, something good is finally happening, which is that my brother Adam finally received a call from Pizza Hut offering a part-time job at the local Pizza Hut Call Centre. He has an interview next Monday, and is ecstatic about it. I on the other hand are yet to receive my phone call, and most likely in a short time I too will be informed of a job interview.

In gaming news, have you seen the new trailer debut of the Lost and the Damned GTAIV downloadable content? If not, have a check!

Disoriented?

So I recently took a leave of absence to my Aunt's place and we had a really fun time. Both 'hangin out' so to speak. After 3 days, I'm back, but it has taken only 30 minutes for me to start to really miss her. I too also miss her dogs Gus and Jacob, her two cats Jeffrey and Haime (Not sure how to spell it, pronounced "High-me"). Being back home, I feel very disoriented, and somewhat lonely. My brother didn't exactly give me such a warm welcome when I arrived. Things seem to be, confusing. On the way home, I almost managed to get a Nvidia 8400 GS 512MB Graphics Card, but the bloody store had sold out. Ironically enough, I had called up and confirmed that they had the card in stock on 2 days earlier. I should have gotten them to hold onto it for me. :(

Disappointed

I guess we all saw it coming, GTAIV is simply unplayable on all of my computers (even my good one). SO that's it, I cannot play GTAIV. I should have expected this. I got myself so anticipated for this fucking game and all it did was keep me up at night and really severely fucking disappoint me. Now I have almost NOTHING to do with myself. Nothing to look forward to, not even my own fucking birthday or Christmas. I'm so mad, so disappointed, so fucking down that I'm going to have a break from all this shit.

Achachachacha!

Not much I can say except I cannot stand this waiting. Less than 24 hours until I get that sweet game.

Edit: Great, now I can't get it till Saturday.

What now? 1 day left?

So just reviewing my little countdown timer, about 1 day and 2 hours left until I can finally get GTAIV. This is about the time that doubts starts to settle in, as with all gamers. Although I don't mean to bore you, I just want to get this off my chest. The game information states that the minimum requirements for a certain video card is a Nvidia 7900, but my computer is a 7600GS. Frantically, I've been looking through to see if that version is compatible, and apparently it is. This however got me hell confused. What's the difference? Well, I'll be glad I'll be getting the game and all, and I can't fucking wait. I'm just wondering though, what situation will I be in if the game does not work. I'm stressing over the possibility that my computer may not be strong enough, or even that the even of a "Fatal System Error" occurs while attempting to play the game. I should probably give it a rest, but I can't help by fuss over it. I only PRAY that things work out in the end.

Suffering from Waiting - 11 Hours and Counting (Australia)

So approximately 11 hours and counting from the time GTAIV will be released on the PC in Australia. Good god, I can't stand this waiting. Keep in mind that I have NEVER played the game before in my life and am a heavy gamer of the series (unfortunately). That is however one of the main problems of my life. The whole anticipation for the game has left me really, well disturbed. Altered sleeping patterns, not to mention altered thinking (I'm constantly thinking about GTA IV *Goes Crazy*). Just last night, I was up till 2AM trying to get to sleep. I could not stop thinking about the game, hence my mind was too busy contemplating the game rather than relaxing, so it was extremely difficult to get into a calm state of mind to fall asleep. I also had a strange sensation in my eyes. I'm not sure how to quite explain it, but I'm sure we can all relate. You know that feeling where your eyes get that slight weird tingling sensation, where you want to close your eyes when open, but open them when closed? Well, I felt really frustrated by this sensation. It was this annoying feeling that kept me from being able to close my eyes for more than 10 minutes. In the end, by around midnight, I ended up playing San Andreas on the PS2 (Oh great, yeah, that will help sort things out, if not make things much better :P). By 2-ish, I had managed to tired myself out that I threw myself into bed and forced myself to close my eyes and think of nothing else. No matter what, I forced myself to stay in my bed and lie completely still, no matter how uncomfortable I felt.

Approximately 3 days and counting

Good god, I don't know how much more I can possibly wait! It's been so hard just this weekend trying not to concentrate on GTAIV. Then, there are those daunting thoughts that either the game won't be released on Wednesday, that it may be delayed or that it will not work on my computer. Argh! It's really cutting at me. One of the good things however over the next few days is that with my parents gone for work, I'll be able to keep my mind occupied with another fun game, Star Wars Empire at War.

Also, since 2 days ago, Neoseeker has introduced a new blog system. This was such big news to me that I decided to make a few entries. However, there has been recent debate over the ethical use of these blogs and whether or not to allow personal entries or to either restrict entires to gaming and computer related. This severely put me off the possible choice of moving my entire blog to Neoseeker, so now I've decided to simply stay here at Blogspot and continue blogging.

School finsihed, 5 days and counting!

So it's mid-Friday and I'm finally on holidays. You'll be happy to know that I have achieve at least satisfactory results for all my subjects, which means that there will be no likely restrictions on myself throughout the holidays. This would presumably relate to games, internet and computers. This 'relaxation' period is also helping me control myself over the seemingly agonising 5 days left of waiting. I'll be keeping myself occupied with Neoseeker in the meantime, with the Neowiki and a few game thread.

Starting Fresh

Just a quick note, I've just reformatted my computer and will be installing programs again and retrieving backup files.